Juiced To The Peel - Part 3

Part 3: The Man

Welcome to the present. The comeback if you will. And did it start out great or what? Leading the team to victories over Kansas and Florida, pundits were ready to call Syracuse a legit contender. That is until poor journalism vilified his image to the lowest point of his life. On November 1, 2008 at 3:00 AM, an on-campus incident occurred involving a student with a promiscuous reputation. Charges were filed against him by a woman, claiming he struck her in the face.

ESPN, and other news stations, ran with the story without letting the facts come out. Charges were dropped after a new story came out making the female student look like the agitator. Regardless, he was suspended indefinitely by the Student Judicial Board. After appeal, they let him return once he completed 40 hours of community service and moved to off-campus housing. He once again overcame adversity and led the Orange to a 28-10 record, a 3 seed in the tournament and the #12 ranking in the post-season polls.

This man that I have been writing about? None other than the trash-talking, tattooed punk known as Eric Devendorf. Did I mention he won Scholar-Athlete of the Week at one point while at Syracuse? So I ask you, is this graduating, loving dad worthy of the villain status? Or is he entirely misjudged, and someone you could look to on how to improve your life? Sometimes the villain is nothing more than a image made by the media, sometimes the villain isn't a villain at all but young man. But most importantly a man. One thing I am certain of: Eric Devendorf is a real man.

ZSJ

2009 NFL Draft

The NFL Draft. For real fans of football this is week one. This is where it all begins. Where stars are snatched from the ranks of college, and hidden gems are found in the latter rounds of the second day. Allow me to take you through some of the highlights of the first day. This year's draft began with the Lions, who started off the day by drafting and signing former child star Matthew Stafford. For those who haven't followed the career of Stafford, he starred in the Cult classic The Goonies as "Chunk".











The top ten also saw the Jets trade into the top 5 by sending Cleveland their first and second round picks as well as several players. The Jets then drafted Mark Sanchez. Cleveland's Coach, Eric Mangini, when asked about the trade said, "We felt that it was time for this football club to obtain a QB for the future, and we believe that Sanchez will provide us with stability and leadership at the position". After awkward silence and odd glances were exchanged amongst the media, one reporter spoke up stating, "You do know you are the coach of the Browns now right?" Upon hearing this Mangini was quoted as saying "Oh @#%*", and then proceeded to storm out of the room.

Another shocker within the top ten was the fall of star receiver Michael Crabtree to the 10th pick after the Oakland Raiders passed on him when owner Al Davis was advised that Crabtree could actually help the team win games.

Perhaps the best story of the day wasn't so much about a player but a school. The University of Connecticut saw FOUR players drafted in the first two rounds, confirming what was previously rumored prior to the draft that the school does indeed have more than just a basketball program.

In the end the NFL Draft was incredibly successful for ESPN. The sports network giant was able to pull in a huge audience and in fact had more viewers than that Lifetime Channel made for TV movie about that woman. So the season has begun, and if Draft Day was any sign of things to come then oh boy! Lookout! But no, seriously, the Draft sucked.

BP

Juiced to the Peel - Part 2

Part 2 - Life and Basketball

Unfortunately, it wasn’t that simple. Despite the great success he was achieving in Bay City, there wasn’t anyone who could mold him into a truly great player. Furthermore, grades were hindering his chance to qualify for a Division 1 school. He was forced to give up the adulation and star power of home, to go play at Oak Hill Academy. It was there where he was able to achieve eligibility for college, as well as ensure his place as an elite recruit. But it was also there that he made the tough decision to renege on a previous commitment to Michigan State, and instead play for the highly ranked Syracuse Orange.

Though seen by many as a cocky and arrogant youth with anger issues, he enjoyed great success at Syracuse, despite the struggles both on and off the court. That is, until his junior year. It was then that 2 of his good friends left the team after fallouts with Coach Boeheim. Still, it was to be a promising year for him and the Orange. Unfortunately in early November he had some off-court issues himself. It was shortly after the second game of the year that he found out that his girlfriend was pregnant. After taking a few days off from practice to sort out his issues, he returned with a vengeance. He led the team in scoring until the 10^th game, when tragically he went down, writhing in pain. ACL… torn.

A very tough road lay ahead. Though rehab for his torn ACL, and an off-court altercation in which his temper got the best of him were turning points in his life, he points to June 20, 2008 as the truly life-changing day. That was the day in which Madelyn, his daughter, was born.

ZSJ

The "How-To" Guide to Nicknaming

According to Wikipedia, the art of nicknaming originated in ancient Viking culture. Along with their nicknames, Vikings were given a special status which created a bond between the person who issued the nickname. Unfortunately, this trend didn't catch on in the rest of the world and nicknames have been carelessly tossed around ever since.

After being inspired by a movie full of beautifully crafted nicknames ("I Love You Man"), I have decided to take it upon myself to educate the masses on the intricacies of nicknames. I will begin with classifying different types of nicknames and the general info behind them. Now lets begin with 5 simple techniques.

1. Generic nicknames. Examples: Dude, Bro, Big guy.
These nicknames are thrown out a lot and are in almost everyone's vocab. I would highly suggest these if you forget someones name and you are trying to get their attention. Otherwise, these nicknames are very boring and show a lack a creativity.

2. Bro+famous persons name. Examples: Bro Montana, Bro Namath, Tito Broha
Popularized by "I Love You Man", this technique can be very comical. This also requires some brain power, but is very rewarding once you come up with a new name to put "Bro" into.

3. Friend's name+made up ending. Example: Sam-o-rama, Sam-ster, Sam-meister
I believe this first gained popularity with Rob Schneider's "Copy Guy" skit. This is a very fun technique and is easy to use right off the top of your head.

4. Friend's name+ Famous name. Example: Sammy Adams, Sammy Davis Jr., Sampson
This is a personal favorite of mine. Not only are there tons of names to choose from, it's also really fun to use. Plus this can used for practically all names. Basically a freakin' great technique to use.

5. Nonsensical words. Example: m'gooch, jobin, city slicka
Also popularized by "I Love You Man", this technique is for those of you who aren't so quick on your feet. This nickname is used by going ahead and stammering whatever it is your thinking of when fumbling for a good nickname. Along with usually being hilarious, it can also lead to nickname that sticks for the rest of your life.

This could be a little overwhelming to those that are nicknaming beginners, but don't worry, the skills will come with time. Just make sure to practice, practice, practice. Also, if I left out your favorite technique, leave a comment so I can include it in my next nicknaming update. Until then...
see ya later Dude von Dudensteins

KC

Juiced To the Peel - Part 1 by special guest ZSJ

PART 1: What Makes a Man

Some might say it is the ability to grow a striking line beard. Others may claim it is the ability to overcome a legion of calamities and move forward stronger than before, never questioning life’s purpose. Simpler minds may claim that being a man is nothing more than proving day in and day out that you are a superior entity than those around you.

What if one person possessed ALL of these attributes? Well, I believe one man does. The person I am speaking of is all of these things, and much more. Does this make him a man? People tend to write him off the first chance they get, but I’ll let you decide.

Born April 27, 1987 in Bay City, MI, he was never given much of a chance. It seemed a poverty-stricken life was all that lay in front of him. That is until he picked up a basketball. Growing up near cities renowned for a high level of play such as Detroit, Flint and Saginaw made things tough for this Central High Standout. Central had not had back to back winning seasons since the 70s. As a sophomore, however, he led Central to a 12-9 season. And as a junior, en route to another winning season, Central beat Saginaw High for the first time in 40 years. Life was going great. He had just given a verbal commitment to Michigan State. Things were definitely looking up. ..

ZSJ

NBA Playoff Predictions

82 games. 7 months of hard work and dedication. The NBA playoffs can be found at the summit of a grueling climb that is the regular season, but for those teams that make it to the top, the descent is just as difficult. Teams like the Pistons and Sixers and Mavs and Hornets deserve applause, but their future does not hold a NBA Finals appearance. This year there are a few teams capable of achieving NBA history, of obtaining the championship trophy. To me it comes down to 4. 4 teams who have seemed to place themselves above all other teams with teamwork, all star players, and a leader who won't give up. I'm talking about the Celtics, who you can bet will bring their gritty style and mental fortitude into every game. Then there are Kobe Bryant's Lakers, much more than a one man show, but no one can doubt Kobe's fierce edge when it comes to playoff competition. We have the King, Lebron James, but in order to be a king one must have a crown, and if not a crown then a big golden basketball, and so he will enter into this post season surrounded by talent and driven to be the best. Finally, and obviously, we have Greg Ostertag, whose fearsome composure, man child like attributes, and serial killer mentality make him a force to be reckoned with. So, I am sticking with my pre-season pick to win it all, and hereby name Greg Ostertag 2009 NBA Champion. The entity that he is, is much more than a beautiful composition of skin, bones, and muscle, for he possesses within him a calling for greater things, and there is nothing greater than winning the Finals. He will no doubt tea-bag, undercut, posterize, sodomize, charge, take a charge, dunk on another white guy, threaten to punch a ref, and much much more on his way to the Finals. And when he steps onto the court expect him to do even more, because he is Greg Ostertag, and he is basketball.

BP

R.I.P. Andrew Zimmern

Yes I know that Andrew Zimmern (star of the travel network's Bizarre Foods) is not dead, yet... This isn't a threat on his life, but I just had a crazy thought while watching his show. What if Zimmern died in a, "What killed him? A stingray? Seriously? They can kill people?" type accident eerily similar to Steve Irwin's untimely death? Here's what I'm thinking. The croc hunter was known for handling the most dangerous and venomous animals on this planet. Zimmern is known for eating the most disgusting food mankind has ever thought up. This is why I think the bizarre food hero is going to go out eating something like a burger, after a career of eating rotting meat, balls from every animal imaginable, and street food from the dirtiest cities in the world.

So I have a word of advice for ya Andrew. Never stop eating disgusting food. Challenge everybody in the world to keep thinking up the most unappetizing concoctions imaginable. Heck, eat animal balls for the rest of your life, because the next time you bite into something normal, it might be your last.

KC

Side thought

Sometimes on the show I'm pretty sure people make things they would never eat just to see if this guy will actually choke it down. One show he ate bull rectum. Are you kidding me? You're going to tell me with a straight face that bull rectum isn't something you and your pals thought up after a brainstorming session on disgusting things we could watch this crazy bald guy eat. I mean I'm not complaining it makes for some great television, but don't try to tell me sheep balls is a local delicacy. I'm not buying it.

THE NUDE AWAKENING

We have answered the call. We have heard your frustrations, we have heard your outcry for quality amongst the clutter of blogs and twitters. And so here we are. Woken from our slumber, our great hibernation. We have awoken to a world in need of our skills. Perhaps what we bring is hope, perhaps purpose, or perhaps inspiration; but we bring something for all. We have crossed obstacles in the form of google mail registration. We have overcome the tedious task of thinking about what to call this Blog. We have done all these things and we have come out unscathed! So witness on this glorious day the awakening, The Nude Awakening!