Carlson's Theory of Cuteness Relativity (CTCR)

Have you ever been sitting in a class and wondered how cute the girl across the room is? Well, through many hours of not paying attention in class, I have found out that several factors contribute to how cute a girl is perceived. These factors are: the school you are attending, the class you are in, and what time that class is.

First off, the school you are attending makes a world of difference. If you go to Texas Tech, it is highly likely that the girl across the room is carrying some sort of STD, an unnatural hair color, and is nursing a hangover. Therefore, they are probably not cute. Now if you attend a school such as Baylor, that girl across the room is most definitely cute. In fact you're surrounded by cute girls, unfortunately you are gay because you go to Baylor. Schools with a high cute girl population: A&M, UT, Blinn (a surprising amount), Samford (according to Spence),almost all SEC schools, and most California schools. Schools with low cute girl population: UNT, Texas Tech, North Eastern schools, and all Ivy league schools besides Cornell (according to the Nard Dawg.)

Next, the class you are in plays a big role in how cute you perceive a girl to be. If you are in say, an Engineering class (if any girls are in that class), there is a large chance that girl is unattractive. Note: She is probably the only girl in that class, making her look hot in comparison to the 90 nerds surrounding her. On the other hand, if you are in an English class there are probably lots of cute girls. So if you put that girl from Engineering in your English class, she will look way less attractive then when she was in a classroom full of dudes.

Lastly, the time of the class could change how a girl shows up to that class. If you are attending an 8 o'clock, girls will most likely not be wearing makeup and will probably be wearing a hat or something. This could very easily trick you into thinking that the girl is unattractive and maybe even a lesbian. Now if you are attending an evening class, girls probably have put on some makeup and possibly have dressed up a bit. This could make the girl better looking than she actually is.

Now I know there are exceptions to this theory, like if Jessica Alba were to take an Engineering class or an STD free girl at Tech (far fetched, I know). So if you have any complaints, or any suggestions for my theory feel free to comment.

KC